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Exes feel familiar and safe. Creating new relationships takes time.

It takes time for someone to get to know you - emotionally and physically. Often it feels easier to simply go back to our old familiar people. It feels like less effort. Though this may assuage our loneliness for a short period time, in the long run, it just delays the inevitable. Eventually, we have to move on and face being on our own, even if only for a short time.

Research in found that people are likely to have rebound sex to cope with a breakup. When they have this type of sex they are emotionally vulnerable, often angry and feeling lower self-esteem.

Sometimes they choose to have sex with their exes and occasionally this brings closure but, usually, it brings more pain and makes it harder to move on.

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Here comes oxytocin again. This bonding hormone accompanies good sex and women produce more oxytocin than men. They are more susceptible to ex sex as a result.

Hate My Ex

After all, the story has already been written and we know the ending. We know the ups, the downs, the plot twists so it seems like we can predict everything about the present as well.

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We can't. If it feels good, people often feel a need to re-write the past and start to believe that the relationship was better than it was or that they have made a mistake by ending the relationship.

While we all do make mistakes, we tend to err on the side of staying too long rather than leaving too soon.

Is it ever healthy to have ex sex? It certainly isn't, if you don't look clearly at what you are both doing.

You need to be clear on the motives behind the sex and make explicit any expectations. If you aren't careful, you can drift back into a relationship that didn't suit you in the first place. Also, if you are still tied up in your relationship with your ex, you are not properly available for new relationships. In fact, the only time it is really healthy to have ex sex is if you are emotionally stable and over the breakup and you find yourself still interested in each other.

If you can wait this long and you are still into each other, then be clear about what you are doing and what you want and go for it.

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She hosts two podcasts: The A to Z of Sex and Sex Spoken Here every week. Book a discovery session to see how she can help you create a lasting sizzling authentic sexual life.

by Kara Kia 14 hours ago. by Grayson Gilcrease 1 day ago.

  Should you have sex with your ex? It's a question very few people don't ask themselves after a breakup. Here, experts explain why having sex with an ex could be a good thing, why having sex with   Don't think about the first time you felt their fingers smell your shampoo. Don't think about all the times they placed their hand on the back of your neck while you were driving. Don't think about the kisses they used to tattoo your hips. Those days are dead and no amount of heavy breathing will revive them   In case you were wondering why you want to get with your ex again, Lori Beth Bisbey at YourTango can give you an in-depth explanation. We know it isn't healthy, but we want to do it anyway

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We know it isn't healthy, but we want to do it anyway. She couldn't even speak and just nodded "yes". Research highlights the reasons why you might find yourself drawn to sex with your ex: 1.

You have a desire for sexual contact with someone. You desire closure.

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It's the way to have a less harsh breakup. Disregard their smell that once followed you around a shared apartment. All are nothing more than a shattered past wrapped in lust and masquerading as the present.

Let the residual ache of every palpable failure act as water in the desert, capable of erasing even the strongest mirage.

Those days are dead and no amount of heavy breathing will revive them. Laying perfectly still will not secure a prolonged visit. They can still see you.

Oh god yes. These words are for us all.

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